shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I've blown a few things in my day
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
