You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize