wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
