butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You can't special order awesome
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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