yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
