They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
