somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
