Whod you bang
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
