Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
