Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
