My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I party with great urgency now.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
