Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize