I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize