sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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