I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
