Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
