C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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