I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You are a genius and a whore.
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