I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
