the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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