whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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