So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
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Did you just see the Batmobile???
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
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OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete