I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.