It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
