Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
