When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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