Say something about gay babies.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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