I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I don't deserve a penis
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
