Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
