if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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