Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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