is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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