laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
