Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize