I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
