i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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