i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
