All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
