Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
