u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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