I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
