So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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