i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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