It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
