she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
