its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
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the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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