just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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