I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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