i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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