So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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