I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize