You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
