Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
