I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
