You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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