How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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