it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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