Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
